Ever Trusting

“Be strong and courageous. Be careful to obey all the law…that you may be successful wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:7)

This command is repeated over and over throughout the book of Joshua and was a great source of encouragement and guidance as the people of Israel moved into the Promised Land and took possession of what God had delivered to them. More and more each day I am growing to understand God’s faithfulness, just as Joshua was seeing the active hand of God as he led God’s people in battle I am seeing a daily direction and comfort from He who knows the ways of all man. I began reading Joshua this summer and was awed at the Greatness and Power of our ever Faithful God. As the summer has progressed however I am starting to see this attribute of God (faithfulness) in a whole new light.

In the beginning I was simply hopeful for a continuation of work with my employer. My wife and I had been extremely blessed as we were taken on by Stonecroft Conference Center to be a part of their summer youth staff. The opportunity to work with my new wife in ministry right after marriage was something that I was extremely excited about and we came running into it wholeheartedly, all of the time hoping that there would be the possibility of future employment for myself as she was not yet through her undergraduate degree. Sure enough, before long the summer had been going well and the opportunity for me to continue working at Stonecroft became a real possibility. I knew that Stonecroft was being sold, as the ministry headquarters had redirected and was phasing out this part of their ministry, but had full confidence that despite this occurrence God was providing. The job would at least be lasting until December which would coincidentally coincide with my wife’s completion of her degree. What an answer to prayer. God was truly being faithful and I was starting to see it in a new and fresh way in my life. But God was just beginning to show me how faithful He truly is.

As the summer progressed and the activity and energy began to wean, I found myself continually coming to God for strength and praising Him for the freshness He had been giving the staff despite the daunting future which was looming overhead. The fact that the conference center was selling was a huge issue. Many of the families involved in the ministry there had shifted their lives completely to serve there and now everything they had worked so hard for was being stripped from underneath them. The worst part was that the whole time it looked as if the center was probably going to sell to the ‘highest bidder’ and not necessarily go into the hands of another ministry. Consequently, all of the staff would probably loose their jobs there and would have to relocate their families and start over. But what I saw was very inspiring, I saw the hearts of people who serve others wholeheartedly, I saw what we are truly supposed to be like if we Trust in God. I saw people who made this the best summer yet because that is what God would have them do. They were strong and courageous, not yielding to the temptation which even I felt as a new employee to simply give what you had to make it work and nothing more. But that is not what we were called to do, and that is not what happened. We gave to those families, some who had been coming to that place for almost twenty years, who had raised their children and some their grandchildren there in those beautiful Ozark hills, and my heart mourned with them at the seeming loss of a place which had not only been a restful retreat to some but the place where for the first time they met God.

And this too was not the only challenge of the summer, for as I said I am continuing to grow in my understanding and in my leaning on the faithfulness of God. Only two months after our marriage, while working at that conference center, my wife and I found that we were pregnant. What a surprise and what a reality check. Here I had committed to a job which I was very thankful that God had provided, but in reality I had no security. Rationally there was no way to believe that there would be a job for me after December … and the baby would be due sometime in March. But, God had been preparing me to hear this news and when it came He allowed me to feel joy instead of fear and confidence rather than dread. I knew He would be faithful and I knew that our needs would be met – even if it were not in the ways that I had previously imagined.

At times it seems amazing at how good God is to us, but in reality any goodness He shows is undeserved and reveals to us His true character. I have been working now for about seven months at a job that God has provided at Haggar Clothing Company as the 2nd Assistant Manager. I had wondered for so long how we were going to be able to make it on just one income and no insurance, but God has again shown His face. He has provided for us every step of the way, from jobs to housing and a way to pay for the baby. It is incredible just to think of all of the things that have happened to keep us afloat, but I guess that it should not surprise me that God is faithful. Occasionally I find myself worried about what is coming, about what job will be next, how I will be able to provide for my family, if I will be a good father, when I will be able to complete my degrees, what God would have me do with my life…the list seems endless. But, realizing God’s faithfulness is the only way to enjoy and move forward with what is going on now.

Daily I find that He is with us, guiding and protecting us, preparing us for what is to come. The hardest part of where we are at now—at least for me—is watching my wife struggle through these last weeks of pregnancy. It has been very difficult on her and I can do nothing to help which is a trying experience. I am torn because I desire for my wife to feel well, but I also hope for the healthiest child that is possible. I love them both dearly and want what is best for them both, it is good that I can trust in God because my own understanding is nothing helpful.

Soon, I will be looking into the face of my child, flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone. I will have the opportunity to get to know a young lady, to instruct and teach, to raise and love … I can already feel the pressure of being a father. I want the best for my child and I want to give her every advantage possible, but above all I want to show her Christ through a life devoted to Him. I know that the charge on my life, the magnitude of this calling, is immense to say the least and I cannot say that it is not daunting. In fact I do believe that it scares me stupid to realize that this little one will be looking at my flawed and imperfect life to see a reflection of my God. I only hope that my will and heart are so yielding to God that I might be able to teach her about how Glorious and Amazing our God truly is. I can only hope that by God’s incredible grace that she comes into a committed relationship with Him. This is my heart’s desire above all things. This is the most important legacy that a man can leave – that he lived life in such a way that those who truly know Him would have no doubt as to who God is and that the only logical and true response to this knowledge is complete abandon of the world and unbridled embrace of Christ.